If May is dedicated to the moms who rule our worlds then it’s only right that June is dedicated to the papas! June also holds the day my husband graced this Earth with his presence. In honor of him I’m going to tell a cliff notes version of our love story.  

I often get asked how we met. The short answer…at a cookout at his momma’s house. The long, dramatic, over the top, but God’s honest truth…I was walking up the driveway to his momma’s house for a cookout with my bestie. He was leaving for a liquor run. It was a Labor Day cookout, September 31 and when introductions happen I immediately felt a tinge of a butterfly.

It was strange for me. I was fresh of a break up at the top of the summer. I was living my best life the ENTIRE summer as I had turned 21, 60 days prior to us meeting. I was day drinking in Fat Tuesday’s and rooftop partying in Brooklyn and talking to a few folks! At the time, I was working full time in retail as a manager and enjoying everything that life had to offer with my bestie by my side.

I have no clue what he was doing with his life in D.C. but in my head he was out here doing the most. He was 26 at the time and had a good government job. What do all men in their 20s do who are single with a steady income? I grew up in a house full of boys. I’m not naive nor dumb. One time I watched my big brother switch between lines on the house phone with two different chicks then have me yell in the background that I needed him so he could hang up with them both. My husband was hella smooth when he asked for my number so I know he was running amuck in these D.C. streets.

After the cookout we all went out to Fat Tuesday’s. He bought my drinks. He bought my slice of pizza that followed. And at the end of the night asked for my number. Now, here’s where things get a bit tricky. He grew up with my bestie. Their uber close, like call each other family. Immediately she said she wasn’t for it and we were off limits to each other. Clearly we didn’t listen. At some point she got over it because she was the maid of honor in our wedding and is the godmother to our oldest.

Fast forward….we dated. We broke up. We dated. I moved to D.C. after undergrad. We broke up, again. We dated. In 2019 with phrases like ‘Pick Me,’ it’s important to understand that from 2008-2011 we were long distance. We also needed room to grow. I needed room to grow. Moving D.C. for grad school was my crutch. IF we didn’t work I would be in a new city, exploring my life, and then move on. After grad school I’d have my master’s and move to Atlanta to be near my family or to Myrtle Beach where my sister was.

I keep coming across various posts about, not giving a man so much time or not waiting around to know if the person is actually the one. For me, I knew he was the person I was going to marry in that driveway. I was listening to the Dead Ass Podcast (you should def check it out) the other day, they touched on how women often know wayyyyy before a man. This was absolutely true for us. During those times we weren’t dating I certainly lived life and dated other dudes. In fact, the last time we broke up after my move to D.C. I vowed that I was done. I took it as a sign. Like, ok Lord he ain’t it, that’s cool…let me finish grad school and move on. I actually had completely formulated a plan to move to Atlanta and it was feasible. Until, I got that call.

I got the call that was all about us needing to talk. I rolled my eyes and agreed. I won’t go into detail about what was said but it was everything that needed to be said. Everything that I needed to hear. I hit up the bestie and for the first time in 4 years I sought her advice on the matter. To my suprise, she was for it. She never steered me wrong on any relationship advice with any other dude, this surely wouldn’t be the one time she did.

In the last 4 years we have had a baby, bought a house, got married, had another baby, and are  now entering the phase in our marriage I believe to be the “settling in” phase. It’s crazy to think that time has swept by in a whirlwind of trips and dates and arguments and here we are almost 11 years later in love. You always hear about the first 5 years of marriage being the toughest. Two years in I have to acknowledge it’s not a cake walk but it is absolutely the BEST walk!

For me, as we approach my husband’s birthday and Father’s Day I’m feeling a bit emotional. I’m feeling like we may not always get it right but it is exactly as it should be. We fit. We work. He is the person that constantly pushes me and encourages me. One of our first convos was him telling me I needed to get back in school after taking a little over a year off. Having this guy who barely knows me push me to finish college demonstrated his character.

So, here we are…settling in and I am grateful. I am grateful to have such an amazing spouse, partner, and love. Choosing him to be my partner was as amazing as him choosing me to his.

Alexa Play First Began (Live) by PJ Morton

Alexa Play The Wedding Songs Playlist