“To be black & conscious in America is to be in a constant state of rage.” -James Baldwin

I love us.

I love black folks. I am proud to be black. I am blackity, black, black and I am raising black girls who will fully embrace all of their magic.

But I am grieving. The topic of gun violence is one that is always up for discussion in this country simply because, someone is always shooting. May 31st Ermias was killed. To gun violence. As you know, his passing was a lot for me and several all over the country.

A week later, my friends loss their daughter to gun violence. As we prepare to lay her to rest I can’t seem to come out of the cloud of sadness. She was vibrant. And stunning. And a FIRECRACKER. She called me fat once, right after I had the 1st baby…LOL. She was 15 at the time and I just looked at her. She immediately started laughing and gave me a tight hug. In my head and in my heart I made a mental note to tell her she was fat after she had a baby one day. One day she would grow up and a parent. One day she would be an adult. But one day never came and at 18, her parents are burying their child.  

How do we raise our children in a country that was never meant for them to thrive in? Follow me….

Black folks were set up to fail from the start. In a country that consistently holds us back and hinders our ability to succeed, how do we move upward. How do we prepare our children to navigate friends that may not actually be their friends while circumventing systematic oppression and avoiding being at the wrong end of a policeman’s gun?

The older I get, the angrier I get at the lack of humanity that is currently falling over the world. Black Maternal Health Week is among us. Do you understand how many white women think this is unnecessary? Black women are more likely to die during and after childbirth from complications than any other race. Black babies have the highest infant mortality rate while simultaneously having the lowest breastfeeding rates. Biases from medical providers is killing us. Stress from the racial inequalities we face on the daily basis is taking a toll on our bodies and the price we are paying is with our lives. It’s been said complications like preeclampsia and preterm labor can be directly related and correlated to racism for black mothers.  

I was raised by a woman who once told her high school principal that a new teacher had the same last name as her because his ancestors raped hers. The teacher was obviously white. My parents weren’t taught about their history in school; nothing has changed there. However, they were made to believe that Savannah, Georgia wasn’t instrumental to the Transatlantic Slave Trade *Insert Major Eye Roll & Facepalm Here* They grew up in the south. They were taught to behave with decorum and mind what you say. They didn’t pass that trait on me.

So how are we here now…

Still dying. Still doing our best to thrive. Still working hard to outshine the MEDIOCRITY of our white colleagues in the workplace. Still fighting for our 40 acres and a mule, which apparently no current presidential candidate thinks is reasonable. Meanwhile, lots of folks got repaid from the government for atrocities against their people.

Black folks are royalty. We are descendants of greatness. We are black girl magic and black boy joy. The personification of beauty and love and light. We will feed you and clothe you and shower you with affection. Yet we are hated. We will surpass every obstacle placed in our way and find ways to succeed when they said there isn’t a way. And this is why we are hated.

I will do my part to ensure my village exceeds the trash expectations society has for them. I will honor those who have come before us and not take the bullshit they consistently try to feed us. I will support black owned business at every opportunity. I will ALWAYS advocate for the lives of black mothers and their babies. I will continue to educate on the benefits for breastfeeding and having a doula. I will encourage my friends to always advocate for themselves when dealing with medical professionals, because let’s face it, racism isn’t going anywhere. I will pray to God and give thanks. But most importantly, I will be optimistic. I hope you will do the same.

“I can’t be a pessimist because I’m alive. To be a pessimist means that you have agreed that human life is an academic matter.” -James Baldwin

Black Maternal Health Week is held annually April 11-17

Black Breastfeeding Week is held annually August 25-31

April is International Cesarean Awareness month

Alexa, play This is America by Childish Gambino